blame is power

hey -

in the face of unfortunate events, it’s easy to point the finger to avoid accountability and responsibility

blaming externalities (or things that aren’t us) causes us surrender the power to them. in the sense that, because of them, we’re suffering.

that because of them, i’m not able to do this one thing. because of them, i’m not where i want to be in life. because of them, i’m not happy.

it’s all because of them, right?

when we blame anything other than ourselves, we put our circumstances in external hands. out of our control.

oftentimes, we use it like a ‘get out of jail free’ card so that we don’t have to do whatever it is that we either need or want to do with our lives.

it is only until we start blaming ourselves for the way we are when we can begin taking steps towards living the life we want.

let me make this clear: this isn’t an invitation to start hating yourself.

rather, let this serve as a reminder to you that you are in control of your life.

yes, things can and will happen outside of our control and there’s nothing we could’ve done about it. however, we can always choose how we respond to it.

let me remind you of the stoic philosophy that tells us that the only thing we’re in control of is ourselves.

so for our circumstances, it’s our responsibility to either change it, or deal with it.

if you’re not happy with yourself, do something about it. if not, then get used to living a reality you aren’t satisfied with.

it’s nobody else’s responsibility to get you out but yourself.

you can’t expect others to clean up every mess in your life. they have their own messes to take care of.

take back control by taking accountability for yourself.

and don’t get it twisted: taking accountability isn’t to surrender.

rather, it’s to recement that you are more than your shortcomings, you’re much greater than that.

the reality is: we can never control what other people do. we can’t rely on others to make us happy. it’s up to us. ourselves. the individual. you are responsible for you.

once you can fully internalize that, maybe things will begin to fall into place.

it’s one of the most loving things we can do for ourselves.

see you then.

• Ethan