how to focus on yourself (seriously)

preface:

i know, i missed wednesday. but it’s okay, i’m here now. i’m resuming school very soon, so that sucks. posts will be less frequent (tues & thurs at 10am), but the quality will remain valuable ;). i’ve begun reading a lot on stoicism and it’s given me a new sense of clarity. there’s a lot to unpack, so a lot of these upcoming posts will involve my take on these principles to hopefully be digestible and easily applicable to your life. and believe me, i know how hard it can be to fully digest a piece of information. words don’t always hit the way they’re supposed to, so i’ll try my best to articulate my interpretations.

hey -

you hear the phrase ‘focus on yourself’ everywhere. but nobody ever tells you how to do it. people tell me that all the time and it pisses me off because what does that even mean? i think i’ve found some direction.

i discussed ‘going ghost’ about a month ago. i treated it more as a solution to remove your need for validation. i don’t believe that it was the right approach. instead i see going ghost, meaning not engaging with social media or any other unnecessary distractions, as a way to find some peace within yourself.

but i get it, it’s hard to get away from these habits. there’s a reason why we do it, after all.

back in june, i felt this immense need to distract myself with anything because i kept on avoiding my reality. come to find out that the distractions not only amplified my anxieties, but ultimately took me further down rock bottom.

there’s just something about the idea of nobody not knowing what you’re up to that is just so freeing.

you don’t give them a chance to be disappointed or angered by you.

i’ll try to articulate my words so hopefully you can get where i’m coming from.

coming from someone who, admittedly, has a hard time being alone with himself sometimes: being alone isn’t bad at all.

honestly now, it’s quite beautiful.

you learn a lot things about yourself in solitude. it’s a learning journey that changes your whole perspective for the better.

there’s no pressure to attend to anybody or worry about anything other than yourself. it’s just me, doing the things that i need to do to figure myself out.

within the last couple of months, i’ve read the most i’ve ever read in my entire life. it’s been enlightening, to say the least.

so, how do you focus on yourself?

learn to be with yourself and get real comfortable with your own company.

learn about yourself.

learn about what makes you tick.

why you feel the way you feel about things? what makes you feel okay at the end of the day? what are you actively avoiding? what can you do better with yourself?

learn about the things you really want to achieve in life.

what do you want to do when you grow up (yup, this one). do you have a timeline for yourself? what’s stopping you?

go for a walk. read a book. try a new cafe. cook something new.

just do something for yourself, for once. 

no distractions. no immature tendencies. do something that makes you happy. do something that makes you grow. and do it alone. 

that’s how i’ve been doing it……what about you?

see you then.

• Ethan