how to meditate (seriously)

preface:

this is one of the most important entries i’ve written so far because of the substantial value that it offers. meditation has immensely changed my life for the better and i believe that everybody can benefit from this in any means. it has helped me remain focused and become better for my loved ones, colleagues, and, most importantly, myself. life happens in ways that we don’t want them to. we get hurt, mistreated, misguided, distracted, frustrated. all of the above. i want to offer you a tool that can help you get through it all. i believe in you. yes, you. you know who you are. i’m rooting for you, with absolute sincerity.

hey -

the mind can be so unpredictable. we think about things we don’t want to think about. we can think ourselves into sadness, anger, anxiety, shame. you name it.

we can drift off in thought that takes us away from enjoying our times with our families. i talked about mindfulness in a previous entry, but now i’m going to show you what i do to build my skills to be mindful.

i meditate.

meditation is one of those things that really helped a lot in keeping myself composed in situations where i’d be on the verge of completely falling apart.

i’m not perfect. i still slip here and here. i struggle. i still struggle despite making immense progress with myself. but there have been times where i saved myself from falling down a slippery slope that would’ve otherwise ruined my state of mind.

an app that got me started was medito.

i like to sit on the ground in a dark room, legs crossed, a hand on each knee, and breathe (that’s the most important part)

start with 3 minute sessions, then try to work your way up to 15 minutes.

here’s where i’m at:

the goal of meditation is absolute self-awareness. it’s the idea of being aware of where you are, who you are, and what you’re doing/feeling at this very moment.

not what has happened or what will happen, but what is happening.

thoughts will arise and feelings will follow. don’t ignore those feelings (this was a step i often overlooked)

feel whatever it is that you’re feeling inside. tense, heartache, confused, numb.

notice it. notice that you’re feeling it. label it. acknowledge where the feeling is coming from (this is very important).

if your mind drifts into an unproductive state (i.e., dwelling), gently redirect your mind into your breathing. don’t be hard on yourself here. you’re learning and you’re working at it. be patient with yourself.

every time you feel yourself drift, try to remind yourself “hey, this isn’t a productive thought…..we don’t have to engage with it…”

gently direct by telling yourself “breathe in…….breathe out”

and simply repeat the process:

1. focus on breathing

2. drift in thought (not intentionally, but will inevitably happen)

3. redirect to breath

it’s the art of being aware that you’re thinking of thoughts that challenge your peace, but choosing not to fully indulge in it.

the beauty about meditating is that not only can you do it anywhere, it helps provide you the tools you need to self-regulate your emotions and keep you sharp when it matters most.

in the case of running into overwhelming thoughts that disrupt the session, that’s perfectly okay. you’re doing just fine.

don’t be afraid to take a break and give yourself the time you need to relax. while this is meant to be a self-regulating skill. it’s a skill that requires practice.

it will take deliberate time and effort to get the ball rolling. i still sometimes have trouble sitting with myself even after hundreds of sessions.

keep showing up and day-by-day, you’ll see the sessions work for themselves. and trust me, you will.

it’s about maintaining a balance between your rational brain and your emotional brain.

it’s one of the most powerful tools to have in your mental arsenal.

when you can acknowledge, control, and ultimately own your emotions, you will be just fine.

i promise.

see you then.

• Ethan